Kitchen Dj Gifts

RAP SCALLION, 'Don't call me no ONION, that ain't my name, I'm BETTA than an onion, but I got no FAME, put me on yo' SAN'wich, put me in yo' SOUP....'

Come dine with me!

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

I could have danced all night!

Cimafunk

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

Hungry child

'Like death by salad.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Wok. Don't Wok.

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

Music to drive ( others mad) to...

'Good news. We're not Daft Punk.'

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

Benihana style of cooking.

"I made you a mixtape."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Why did Ernie take that off his wrist and put it here when he had to leave the kitchen? For safety reasons. A watched pot never boils. Ernie says you are what you eat. It's true in his case. Ernie is just like his food. He is sweet, and has some but not too much spice. Plus there's nothing artificial about him. Also like his food, Ernie is an acquired taste. And to me they have both become irresistibly delicious!

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'