Kitchen Diyer Pillows

'Alice, the blonde, speaking.'

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

Witch Hardware

You missed a spot!

DIY expert.

"Now just open wide and relax. Uncle Fred has told me he has a way to fix your braces faster and cheaper than that overpriced orthodontist."

"The latest news on the gardening fashion front is 'Ditch the decking'!"

"On second thought, could you take it out and just teach him how to use the door knob?"

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

Wrong end of extension cord.

"You guys made your own yard figures for Christmas?"

Man and boy looking at a birdhouse they have just built. It has a vacancy sign outside it like a motel.

Santa's elves were caught resting on their laurels.

Ikeasaurus

A janitor stomps on, mops up and bottles some grapes to make "Truly Affordable Beaujolais".

'Man with birds nesting in hair.'

Tools for fools; A hand-knitted try square.

'Every traditional country kitchen needs an aga like this... It's perfect for keeping the microwave in.'

"Not a problem Miss: If it's too tight, I'll open it up a bit for you..."

'I see you're adding a patio.'

Sunflower yellow

'Too many fridge magnets.'

"For Father's Day, I'm giving my dad an hour of free tech support."

'He made that sofa himself, the last thing he ever made!'

'Disaster in the making...'

"Great way to change wallpaper. I've put them on rollers."

You've Got Nail!

'Sonya really hates cooking!'

"Why can't we have a proper burglar alarm?"

I'm afraid we are talking more of a puce, than a genuine indigo!'

"You put in the batteries the opposite way!"

Punk painting his walls 'White with a hint of puke'

Bird basketball.