Home Diyer Pillows

Wrong end of extension cord.

"Now just open wide and relax. Uncle Fred has told me he has a way to fix your braces faster and cheaper than that overpriced orthodontist."

Ikeasaurus

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"Home depot."

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

"The new house is almost ready!"

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

'Workmate' bench helping DIY man "Left a bit"

'Ever thought of having the place re-carpeted?'

"It's a miracle I was able to build this desk all by myself. I'm not so handy."

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

Man's best friend

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

Witch Hardware

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

"We'd like you to think of it not as a 'brick', but rather as an essential component of a potential self-build project."

"If the professor on Gilligan's Island can build a computer out of a coconut, then you can build a cell tower. Take some initiative!"

"When things have returned to normal I might take this up for a living whaddya thing?!!"

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

The Tardis Shed

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

'Just measuring you for the breakfast nook.'

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

Do it yourself -- get someone else to do it -- get son to do it -- pay -- don't bother doing it -- move house

'Henry, just break down and buy a power drill.'

"On second thought, could you take it out and just teach him how to use the door knob?"

"This isn't a fixer upper. It's a down-and-outer."