Kitchen Defender Pillows

'Noooo! You idiot! For crying out loud! Sear it first! Then a slow oven.'

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Party time.

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

"The night raid on the kitchen bench was a disaster sir! The owner woke up, came downstairs for a glass of water and attacked us!"

A butcher and his apprentice.

"You know, statistically speaking, at least one of these gingerbread men is gay."

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

Thanksgiving: The holiday where aluminum foil is king!

Toastquest!

A day in the life of a dish sink

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

Castle drawbridge opens to reveal a dishwasher

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

The Colonel at home.

'There's something wrong with the slow cooker. I check it every minute but nothing's cooking!'

"Touch that and you're a dead man."

"I'm making Thanksgiving dinner this year. Do you have Turkey Helper?"

Please pass the fire extinguisher.

"Where's a fairy godmother when you need one?"

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!

'It was the last straw when she threw her lumpy gravy over me!'