Kitchen Crisis Manager Pillows

"Yesterday my frig stunk real bad! But now it doesn't! I musta eaten whatever it was!"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Kitchen Tetris

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

The dress uniform of the Catering Corps

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

Kiss the Commander in Chef

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

UBLIC RELATIONS IN CASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK GLASS

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

The secret lives of household things.

"I'm an expert in crisis management, I've got three daughters!"

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"I wanted to always play it down. I still like playing it down because I don’t want to create a panic."

'We should e-mail this and point out that many of our victims were in key marginals...'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

"Baxter, I've decided to take you off crisis management."

"I'm concerned, Larry. All you seem to do lately is put out fires and run around like a..."

The inevitable conflict of interest facing every crisis manager.

"Get me someone in Apologies, someone in Walkbacks, and send up the whole Scapegoating team."

"I mean, he does have a point."