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Chef Cellist

A Symphony of Penguins

Anna Calvi

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Freddie Mercury

Baker Romance

Cook and her Maids

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

'After hours of rehearsing together, little Judy Barlow is going to play 'Three Blind Mice' while her father screams, 'Keep that racket down, will ya?''

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'

"A gentleman would offer his seat."

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"It'll never be ready in time."

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

Ozzy Osbourne bites the head off a chocolate bunny at his easter concert.

'No you idiot! You're supposed to smash your guitar AFTER the show! What are you going to play now?'

"What do you mean, where's your order? Can't you see we're just starting to really cook?"

The Porkypine Pals Christmas Adventure - Part Four

Fuzz - Nigel can twiddle his drumsticks.

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

Spatula Conductor

"I miss diving into a mosh pit."

"Maybe I haven't suffered enough. Why don't you whip up some of your curried pork balls and refried rice for dinner?"

"Your mom's a very special person."

The Welsh Rarebit Mchine

Mozart

Sir John Barbirolli

'It was embarrassing. I always swore I'd die of her cooking.'

Rod Stewart

"Horton hears The Who!"

'No more beans this week, I think, Matilda.'

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

"Just as he was singing 'I'd like to be under the sea in an Octopus' garden', a giant, tentacled arm reached up and pulled McCartney into the ocean."