Kitchen Comedy Seeker T-Shirts

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'My dinner's in the oven! Is that it?'

You pray before you eat? Just how bad is your dad's cooking?

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Clown on bike.

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Soup of the month.

Polar Bear ice fishing through igloo.

"That's it. We’re toast."

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

'Like death by salad.'

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

Wok. Don't Wok.

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Knights of the bedside table.

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

Why did Ernie take that off his wrist and put it here when he had to leave the kitchen? For safety reasons. A watched pot never boils. Ernie says you are what you eat. It's true in his case. Ernie is just like his food. He is sweet, and has some but not too much spice. Plus there's nothing artificial about him. Also like his food, Ernie is an acquired taste. And to me they have both become irresistibly delicious!

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'