Kitchen Comedian T-Shirts

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'It says right here in the ingredients, 'this product contains no yucky stuff'.'

'Waiting for the pancake to come down.'

'Just mash them the old-fashioned way, Doris.'

'There's an inspector here from the Board of Health who would like to see the chicken soup.'

'The Health and Safety guy doesn't look very happy...I hope we're not gonig to fail the inspection.'

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I'll give you a cookie if you promise to paint me as a pillar among women in your future memoir."

'Drop the can opener!'

Ethel regretted having natural gas installed.

It's hard to when I'm always under pressure."

'Honey, I think our 3-second rule should just apply to food.'

'If Darwin's Thoery of Evolution is correct, we should be able to open one of these by now.'

'I see you're learning from your mistakes again.'

"Compliments? Well, someone said the salt and pepper tastes nice."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

Dog - 'Drop it! You know you wanna drop it!'

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

"Here, too, a "share" button?"

Do we have to watch Gordon Ramsey flambeing swordfish steaks in red wine while we eat our frozen fish cakes and instant mash?

"I ask you to do one thing..."

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

Dorothy instantly regretted asking Barry if he had enjoyed her special 'Birthday Curry' recipe

"What's creaking...you or the floor?"

'I'm not allowed to operate heavy equipment while taking this medication. What do you think the stove weighs?'

'The recipe said 'stand for five minutes'.'

The 60 Hour Gourmet Recipe For People Who Have Time To Spare And Then Some.

'Never, ever give the benefit of doubt to a Brussells sprout.'

"Other than leaving the lid off the blender, I think my first smoothie went rather well!"

Fruitcake

"I don't really hate vegetables...but they're my last line of defense before liver and onions."

'We were playing Doctor and I was sterilizing the gloves.'

'I think I know how to make an egg.'