Kitchen Comedian T-Shirts

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'It says right here in the ingredients, 'this product contains no yucky stuff'.'

'Just mash them the old-fashioned way, Doris.'

'Waiting for the pancake to come down.'

'There's an inspector here from the Board of Health who would like to see the chicken soup.'

'The Health and Safety guy doesn't look very happy...I hope we're not gonig to fail the inspection.'

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'Drop the can opener!'

"I'll give you a cookie if you promise to paint me as a pillar among women in your future memoir."

Ethel regretted having natural gas installed.

It's hard to when I'm always under pressure."

'Honey, I think our 3-second rule should just apply to food.'

'If Darwin's Thoery of Evolution is correct, we should be able to open one of these by now.'

'Does this thing get channel four.'

The 60 Hour Gourmet Recipe For People Who Have Time To Spare And Then Some.

'The recipe said 'stand for five minutes'.'

Fruitcake

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

Dorothy instantly regretted asking Barry if he had enjoyed her special 'Birthday Curry' recipe

"What's creaking...you or the floor?"

'I see you're learning from your mistakes again.'

"Other than leaving the lid off the blender, I think my first smoothie went rather well!"

"I don't really hate vegetables...but they're my last line of defense before liver and onions."

"Here, too, a "share" button?"

Dog - 'Drop it! You know you wanna drop it!'

"Compliments? Well, someone said the salt and pepper tastes nice."

'Never, ever give the benefit of doubt to a Brussells sprout.'

'I'm not allowed to operate heavy equipment while taking this medication. What do you think the stove weighs?'

The Complete Spaghetti Dinner.

Cement mixer with mixer settings

"You're the first person I've met who didn't become a pastry chef after suffering a nervous breakdown in a corporate job."

"If we can't find all the ingredients, we'll just make something horrible."

"That's the last time I ask you to fix anything around here!"