Kitchen Calamity Conqueror Pillows

'Oh no, freezer's on the blink again!'

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

There! I've made my year's supply of zucchini bread! That's kind of a lot. How can you store them all? It's no problem. I just throw out last year's supply.

Roasted

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Well, what did you expect on the mother ship?

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"The night raid on the kitchen bench was a disaster sir! The owner woke up, came downstairs for a glass of water and attacked us!"

Bake off: Flan B

"You know, statistically speaking, at least one of these gingerbread men is gay."

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

Woman in need of an extractor fan.

Thanksgiving: The holiday where aluminum foil is king!

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

A day in the life of a dish sink

The Colonel at home.

"I'm making Thanksgiving dinner this year. Do you have Turkey Helper?"

'It was the last straw when she threw her lumpy gravy over me!'

"Where's a fairy godmother when you need one?"

Tsunami in the cooking pot.

"Touch that and you're a dead man."

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

Tuppermalware

'There's a pork roast in the oven and a casserole in the microwave....two minutes on high.'

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

"Don't worry. This year I have a new recipe."