Kitchen Battle Strategist Pillows

'He's gotten so fussy.'

You're the puff in my pastry!

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

Mayo-A-Mayo

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

A butcher and his apprentice.

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'

'The defence is ahead on points. Prosecution's only hope now is for a knockout.'

'My kingdom for a horse! Are you nuts? How about high yielding mutual funds?'

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

No matter your skills, there's something you can volunteer to do.

"Oh stop it. You know perfectly well that before every battle the enemy shouts things at us that we may find offensive."

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

"I made the mistake of asking my boss for an office with a view."

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

'Isn't it time you got over your silly fear of water?'

'You're just lazy! -- Don't give me that 'metal fatigue' stuff!'

"It's cold outside. You're not going anywhere without your oven mitts!"

"I can't get the blasted tin opener to work."

'Come over here and nag me, I'm homesick.'

"Hasn't this been the best first hundred days ever?"

Food Cooked. Nerves raw.

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

Battle.

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

'The food inspector, Sir!'

"I see many military victories, a heroic death and a grateful nation that will erect in your honor a statue that will be dirtied by pigeons every day, once and again."

'Hello, police? There's been a food fight here and I'm afraid the cheese got the worse of it.'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

"Is this the table with a complaint?"