Kiss-ass Connoisseur Gifts

"They swabbed and tested every kissed ass in the firm, and Orlitzky's DNA was a perfect match."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'Could you tone down the smile just a little?'

"I'll give you a big wet kiss.. "

'Don't get me wrong. I like the hugs, but I could really use a kiss once in a while.'

Don & DixieKiss No. 274385

Two minds but with a single thought.

"It's an agreeable little wine."

'Hey Dave, check out the kinky underwear this chick is taking on her trip!'

'I know you like romantic things, so I built us this love-nest. Stuck together with my own spit.'

'You're not supposed to kiss everyone, Mr Jenkins.'

Wildlife Refuge

"Why don't you stop by and stray for awhile."

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

'HEY,no Tongue!'

Ross Noble

'They're not for me, they're for my wife.'

'That was quite a birthday party - we played full-contact spin-the-bottle.'

'Dear? I put a nice new blade in that old razor of yours, did you notice?'

"Your sobrino sure sounds happy...all because he kissed a girl?"

Kink

"We call it that because Pastor Dave is always aware of kick-off time."

"...good night lube, good night lair, good night noises everywhere."

I'd kiss you goodnight, but I find it hard to stop after just one kiss. Hey, I'm willing to risk it, and I'm a recovering kissaholic.

"No thanks-I'd sooner snog the steeple!"

"Do we kiss these people?"

'Are my feet anywhere near the oche yet?'

Sign reads: 'Kisses ?5.00'

'Henry wore himself out courting me.'

Sunset gets later and later every day, little buddy. So what? So, sunset happens later in the day. That means I an accomplish a lot more before smooching hour. I can run an extra ten miles. I can chop an extra cord of firewood. I can catch an extra school of fish. I can prepare for my date by mining an extra nugget of lip balm from my secret lip balm quarry. I can download 30 extra books I'll never read.

"I'd like a quick word with you after visiting time."

"I've thought really long and hard and what I'm trying to say is, while I love you, I only like a parade."

"Of course I come here often. I'm the barmaid!"