Kingdom Builder Gifts

What about you? If you could go anywhere in the world, conquer its people and take their land, where would you go?

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Painting by the numbers for adults

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'I found the termites!'

God's Subcontractors

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"Werewolves of London..."

Do it yourself books.

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

'I like it but frankly, I had something more substantial in mind.'

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

School of Art & Design. Looks like they're putting up an addition.

Sick Building Syndrome