King Of The Mountain T-Shirts

Conkerers of Everest

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

The Unhappy King

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

Bouncy Castle. Hey, you kids, get out of my house!

King of Music.

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

The Royal Wii

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

An angry barbecue.

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

'Nobody treats the king that way and gets away with it.'

King completes rubik's cube.

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

"Tarzan no want computer."

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"We lost another battle? Why does this keep happening?"

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'