King Of Customer Service Pillows

'The customer is King'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'I'd like to return this, please.'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"If you think my service is bad. . . wait 'til you taste the food!"

"It pains me to tell you this, but it ain't broke."

'I see you've found a cure of the 'new car fever'.'

Friendly banks and Cold and aloof banks.

"I'd recommend this."

'Of course it's cold. We serve breakfast anytime, but we only make it in the morning.'

"Will that be for here or to go?"

'Please remember how silly and humiliating grinding pepper is when you figure my tip.'

'Could you show me something that's more feature laden?'

'You've got to give it to Jim, there's nothing he won't do for his customers.'

'Hey that's our waiter on his way home!'

'On behalf of our cabin crew who have voted in favour of strike action over Christmas. . . kindly fill out this form. Please send us your questions and comments about how the strike has effected your plans, ruined your holiday. . .'

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

"I used to wait tables but I found I was more suited to producing movies."

Wal Max - Complaints Department

The competition's customer vs our customer.

"Right, shall we delay the discussion on customer care again and look at the urgent issue of declining sales and plummeting profits."