Customer Care Champion Pillows

"Don't think of them just as customers, but rather as an infinitely mineable and marketable source of valuable data!"

"There's not much Gordon won't do for his clients!"

"For success you have to treat customers as individuals...These for example are individuals No 45-09kl and 645-3!"

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I'd like to return this, please.'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

"If you think my service is bad. . . wait 'til you taste the food!"

'I see you've found a cure of the 'new car fever'.'

Friendly banks and Cold and aloof banks.

'Of course it's cold. We serve breakfast anytime, but we only make it in the morning.'

'Please remember how silly and humiliating grinding pepper is when you figure my tip.'

'You've got to give it to Jim, there's nothing he won't do for his customers.'

"I used to wait tables but I found I was more suited to producing movies."

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

'On behalf of our cabin crew who have voted in favour of strike action over Christmas. . . kindly fill out this form. Please send us your questions and comments about how the strike has effected your plans, ruined your holiday. . .'

'Hey that's our waiter on his way home!'

The competition's customer vs our customer.

Customers are not buying your products. . . but solutions to their problems.

"Right, shall we delay the discussion on customer care again and look at the urgent issue of declining sales and plummeting profits."

Grocery store has no data team to help with customer's shopping experience.

Working hard to maintain customer relations

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

'We're all out of the (bar code) but can I interest you in the (different bar code)?'

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

"Joey, Joey, Joey! It's like he's taken over this whole store! Well, I'm sick of it! This place is not about being lazy! It's about good products for good prices! It's about customer service! But does anyone car? Does anyone notice? When does hard work pa

Harold Was Done Asking Customers About Their Day

"Yes, who do I punch in the face for overbooking my flight?"

"Don't you DARE argue with me you ***(****) or I'll **** your ****."

Despatch Dept - Sorry, your order is late sir, everybody's away on an 'Improve Customer Relations' course.