Customer Service Champions Pillows

"1-800 Herd of Elephants."

Complaints Department.

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

'I see you've found a cure of the 'new car fever'.'

"If you think my service is bad. . . wait 'til you taste the food!"

Friendly banks and Cold and aloof banks.

"I'd recommend this."

"Will that be for here or to go?"

'Of course it's cold. We serve breakfast anytime, but we only make it in the morning.'

"Any chance of some credit?"

'You've got to give it to Jim, there's nothing he won't do for his customers.'

Wal Max - Complaints Department

"I used to wait tables but I found I was more suited to producing movies."

'Please remember how silly and humiliating grinding pepper is when you figure my tip.'

'On behalf of our cabin crew who have voted in favour of strike action over Christmas. . . kindly fill out this form. Please send us your questions and comments about how the strike has effected your plans, ruined your holiday. . .'

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

'Our customer service was lousy, but from now on, we'll give the personal touch. Let's write to 'Hey lassies and dudes, what's up?'

'Hey that's our waiter on his way home!'

The competition's customer vs our customer.

"Right, shall we delay the discussion on customer care again and look at the urgent issue of declining sales and plummeting profits."

Working hard to maintain customer relations

Grocery store has no data team to help with customer's shopping experience.

"You forgot the straw."

'Why on earth did you ask the customer if there was anything else you could do for him??!'

'We're all out of the (bar code) but can I interest you in the (different bar code)?'

"Joey, Joey, Joey! It's like he's taken over this whole store! Well, I'm sick of it! This place is not about being lazy! It's about good products for good prices! It's about customer service! But does anyone car? Does anyone notice? When does hard work pa

Despatch Dept - Sorry, your order is late sir, everybody's away on an 'Improve Customer Relations' course.