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'You just wait until your father gets home.'

Boy and girl at thier studies

The Family Joules: Part 16

"So, what do you do for play?"

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!

Darn it, you're touching my half of the loveseat again. (Published originally on Feb. 20, 2008.)

'Do you suffer from Jet Lag the day after Christmas?'

'Is this what they call 'quality time', Dad?'

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

Why do I need a nap when it's only 8.15 am?

"Quick conference...this is rhubarb pie...do we like it or not?"

"I couldn't find a sitter."

'Mr. Stork, tell my little brother where he came from.'

'We'll soon know whether or not the Easter rabbit is real.'

"Mum, Dad, where was I downloaded from?"

"I hope you don't mind me asking, Mrs. Gonzales...but how does the baby get out of there?"

Blew off my S.A.T. prep class.

"Are you really sure we're supposed to give points for sound?"

Newspaper editor says to woman: 'Agnes, you review children's picture books �' please stop saying 'I read it in one sitting.''

"To what do you attribute your longevity."

"I can't wait to forget everything I learned about myself during quarantine."

"I hate to be that guy, but, technically, Frankenstein is the name of my creator, and I'm Frankenstein's monster."

'You can't go wrong. The Futura is a Japanese car made in America, and the Silvette is an American car made in Japan.'

The whole thing seems pretty science-fictiony to me!

"Another milestone: the first step, first word, first excuse..."

"Look at the silly grin on his face -- I bet his imaginary playmate is a girl!"

'I can't believe you just said that Satchel's writing is better than mine.'

Cavemen Making Wheels and Car.

"You have to think outside the litter box."

'Don't mummy birds and bees have headaches then?'

'Nevermind when I last ate. When did you last eat?'

'I'm not sure about Winnie the Turd as the name for the main character, Mr Milne.'

'Stanley likes to think he's king of his castle.'

Home-Schooling Small Talk...

"How old were you before you discovered our football club song wasn't the national anthem?"