Kidney Crusader Pillows

'My transplanted heart is 29, my transplanted kidney is 41, my transplanted lung is 38 and the rest of me is 59.'

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

Ironing day.

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

Nervous Student

"It would kill him to run a vacuum?"

"Always with the cancer cures, this one."

A crab finds an alternative to walking sideways.

Fumes from furniture

Third World debt interest repayments/ charity aid

It's a Dog's life

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

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"We've got a class-action suit if I ever saw one."

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

'Mom, I cleaned my room like you told me.'

"Let me know when the floor is clean enough for me to put my feet on it again."

Cleaner

"You'll have to clean your room by yourself. Your plea for disaster aid has been turned down by the President."

'Oh no, green waxy build up.'