Kiddie Club Booster Gifts

'Momma, we elected you as honorable member of our club. You're in charge of eats and drinks.'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"I really start dragon around 3 o'clock."

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

'Don't just stand there, get into focus!'

'Shh, let me do the talking.'

"What are they saying about you on Yelp?"

'Another day another dollar Maurice, but boy do I hate kids!'

Half time entertainment at many small clubs was a bit basic.

'Why hide it. I do this for me.'

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

"A scientific approach to generating excuses"

The Overturned Desk - Therapy for writer blocked authors and artists,

"That's enough rope-a-doping Henderson!"

The Boise Chapter of the Polar Bear Club celebrates the news that it's been given 'Endangered Species' status.

"I seek you looking for my first vaccine shot, then you seek me for the second."

Professional Parents

'Please miss, can I be Herod?'

'Re-boot?'

These multi vitamins will give me unbounding energy and vitality...

Scrabble night.

'Next on the agenda...we need to discuss the club's inability to attract new members..."

'I like my extra bold Rain Forest-friendly dark roast with a can of industrial strength chemical energy drink.'

"Cruz, I really like your idea of starting an iPhone club...seriously, sign me up!"

Face Masks and Victory Against Covid-19

The 'tough' life of a boy growing up in upper-class Britain.

Office Cleaner.

"This book has given me the confidence to do what I have to do...to say what I have to say!"

'Have you tried an energy drink?'

'Do they have sprouts in heaven, Miss?'

The girls' hoops team we sponsor is undefeated? What a turnaround. Lots can change in a year. Remember little Tracy Jensen? One hot chocolate. Not so little anymore. And an entire ham. Victory.

Elevator Shoes.