Kid Lit Enthusiast Pillows

"Your story is quite the booze-filled dive into the depths of depravity. Is this your first children's book?"

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Director/Action Man toy.

Build your very own conflict of interest!

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

"Werewolves of London..."

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

Pastries and Candy

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

"It's his emotional support animal."

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"

Childlike love

One!

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

"If we play house, Timmy, we can't live with my parents because..."

"I'm in children's books, myself."

What can I play?

Jack in the box on strike.

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

Remote Control Duck

Inaction Figure

'...and, of course you get a company car.'

Toys

Typical bored kid of the New Millennium

The unforgiving tree

I think you meant to huff 'n' puff at the next house over.

Help me!