Kid Corraler Gifts

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

Mom on the First Day of School.

The Baby Walker

The No No No's

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

Parenting Business Deals

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

The First Day Back

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

Quiet Time

Nanny with children on leash

'They had three puppies and four kids before me: It's almost impossible to find a piece of furniture that hasn't been chewed on...'

"Are you sure they don't include children?"

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

Babies

Kindergarten Primary School Teacher

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

RAF plane ride.

"The Day Center called. They say your little girl is resisting arrest."

'I think my inner child needs a spanking.'

I'm fed up with cleaning your room! From now on, wipe your feet!

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey - it's part of the aging process.'

"O Holy night - Aye! The stars are brightly shining - YUH!"

'I'm sure I've forgotten something. I got change from a fifty.'

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."