Kid Age Calculator Gifts

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"Nice haircut."

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

"Here's your dessert. A guilt counselor iss standing by to help you once you calculate how many calories you've consumed."

"Let's look for spots and then talk about what we would've done on 'em 10 years ago."

'How old? He's 14 months, 3 days, 7 hours and 16 seconds... 17... 18...'

'Let me have 20% fat, 40% carbohydrate, 40% protein and a cup of tea,'

"We're not dividing the bill. We're dividing the calories. Two people had cheesecake..."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Uh uh uh...that's not a touchscreen."

"Can't talk now, I'm dicing with death, we're doing stir-fry."

'She's not 'pushing 40' - she's 'dragging' it!'

"Well you did say you wanted something gluten, sugar, fat, additives and calorie free."

"For someone who doesn't have a job, I sure have a lot of bosses."

'Dressing the Salad. Why?'

"Remember when I was a little kid and cried when I had to go to the dentist?"

"I've not seen your son for ages, he's really shot up!"

'Seems like Joe now has three feet. His mother says he's grown another foot.'

"She has her mother's management style."

"We heard that you had so many children and didn't know what to do"

"It's not that you've chosen the wrong diet, it's just that you're not meant to eat them all at once!"

'Wow, Timmy, you've grown a foot since I saw you last!'

'Talk about a disastrous blind date: A quick look at her teeth told me she was a lot older than she said...'

'Do you have another menu of what I can have?'

"Little Harry has certainly shot up."

"Oh boy, you've grown alright! Better be careful though: From now on, they won't throw you back..."

"Actually I was going to sell it on he internet"