Age Differences Gifts

"Nice haircut."

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"Your contents have shifted."

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

"Why bother?"

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

Multi-Generational Books

Gary turns 40.

Inside One's Memory Bank

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

'I must be reaching that age! I can't get my ozone layer up anymore!'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"I don't know who you are!"

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

Breast Height Chart

". . . and now it's his memory. Three times on Saturday he asked me what day it was. Or did I already tell you that earlier?"

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.