Kid Advocate T-Shirts

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Coronavirus Impact on Children

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

Welcome to your new English Class.

"These are my little helpers - social worker,child psychology, risk assessment,health and safety, paramedic and compo for kids."

Mentoring Unit: 'Go on! You can do it! You can be a mentor!'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

"Back to school can bring on the summertime blues."

'I'm not enjoying my childhood, I'm dealing with it.'

Violence against children.

"We don't make cookies anymore - I'm selling Girl Scout apps."

"I would share, but I'm not there developmentally."

"These conferences are a good thing. It keeps parents off the streets."

Adult Crime, Not Adult Logic

"If they add one more mandatory standardized test... we'll have to lengthen the school year!"

'Oh no! The only one who can keep up is sporty Smith.'

Children playing hopscotch wrong.

If students are more than a test score why aren't teachers?

"Don't worry son. We're going to get you the best money that medicine can buy."

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

Danger: Do not love.

Head Start Nursery.

The Minor Issue

"But, sweetie, children are the backbone of our educational system."

MEN, WOMEN, 'What are KIDS supposed to do?'

Hickory, Dickory Doc...Pediatricians

An apple core school

Girl to mother: 'Don't call me a teenager. From now on, I want to be referred to as a pre-adult.'

'I just think everyone in the family should have the same rights and privileges.'

'My answers aren't wrong,merely different.'

'When do you teach them how to dress themselves?'

'Don't get me wrong, I love children. I'm just not ready to hire them.'