Kicker Pillows

'I just can't say for certain. They all look the same in those uniforms. ...All I know it that he said he kicks field goals for a living.'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

'Champions league'

'Nice Header, Lauren!'

Sudok Fu: Sign up for class today!

'It is now safe to kick and swear at your computer'

Professional football.

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

...Another second closer to kick-off....another second..

Cat boxer

Ballerina Vs. Martial Artist

"If the Ref doesn't give that, it's the end of football!"

Football

Car dealer's sign: If you kick the tires, you've bought it!

Life hasn't been the same since Mum took up taekwondo!

'Who says you can't fight City Hall?'

'Mr Thurber, come at me like you're going to sexually harass me!'

The Motives of Footballers

'Focus on the kick, and forget about all the seven-foot tall kick blockers they have.'

'Billy loved to play with his computer'

'I want a perfume that will overpower a man. I'm tired of karate!'

"He cost a million pounds, they should've spent another tenner on a pair of glasses."

"I don't understand. I gave up smoking two years ago."

'Heulluva Mark.'

Football

"No thanks. I quit smoking 55 pounds ago."

Quite by accident one football hater kicked the ball to the other football hater, who kicked it back again...

'That's the trouble with parks football - there's not much quality on the bench!'

'Sorry, Roger. I never know when my restless leg syndrome is going to act up.'

Karate and Judo: 'Will one lesson be enough to get more housekeeping from my hubbie?'

'Well you can never be sure, but my guess would be that they lost!'