Kick Fanatic Pillows

High Kick

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

Alternative fielding positions

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

"I'm looking for a wife who likes to fish, go to the footy, play cards, watch TV, cook, drink and wash dirty socks."

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

Sales

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

Punishment for the kicker.

Sudok Fu: Sign up for class today!

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

Cheerleaders

Ref shows footballer green card.

Striker Aims for the Wrong Goal

"Oh I don't work here, I just love filling out forms."

"As fans we are smart enough to understand the game, but not smart enough to realize how unimportant it really is."

Battering ram is a giant key to unlock castle doors.

'Good luck son, but genetically you are screwed.'

'There's a dangerously fine line between chivalry and being a goody-two-shoes.'

'Hurry, hurry! What's he saying?'

"Your grass looks great."

Just sitting here kicking field goals (smiley face emoji)

"Now to file 50 million completed Census forms"

"Of course the HMO never stops b****ing about my electricity bills!"

The New Simplified Tax Return!...Step 1: Calculate income from all sources...Step 2: Send it.

Impersonal Trainer.

Javelin

'Sir, the coffee request form you requested is now three, federal, state and local;'