Keyboard Crumb Buster Pillows

'Maybe you shouldn't eat by your keyboard.'

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Woman blowing dust off book 'Desert Romance'

The Proust of Twitter

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

Pest Control

Gary Basks in the glow of a fifteen-minute window with no empty cardboard boxes in the house.

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

Googoo

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

Tortoise polishing his shell

'If you don't stop biting your nails, you're going to ruin your teeth.'

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

Horn of Plenty.

"No Littering" sign in space.

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

Umpire's Banquet.

"We have raccoons."

Make it look like an accident. Carpet cleaners.

Woman in swimsuit vacuuming the lawn.

Stuff you need once then leave at the back of the cupboard to fester

'I begged him to get a smart reader.'

Summertime Blues

How farmers get away w/ eating crackers in bed

So that's what they mean by the "vacuum of space"! Vvrrrrr. WHOOSH!

"I like putting any all the holiday decorations....it makes the room seem twice as large."

'It's easy to slag off other people's work, much harder to do better yourself...so Daddy's made a career out of slagging off other people's work.'

"I see balloons, food and drinks. Not only are there ants in our keyboard, they seem to be having a party."

I'm attacking this family's clutter! You need me? Yes! Help me decide which pile to start with. Tough call.

STRIP Hambone: Flossing the keyboard

Needle in a Haystack vs. Thumbtack in a Junk Drawer