Crumb Commander Pillows

'You've been eating crisps in bed again, haven't you?'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"I tell you, it's a jungle out there!"

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

Busy day at the office.

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

'Miss Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel that call to tech-support.'

"Just badly sprained thank goodness... I was so scared it might be broken..."

Bored Baker

"Got anything else? I gave up carbs."

'Maybe you shouldn't eat by your keyboard.'

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

Mock cover of 'Landfill' magazine

How farmers get away w/ eating crackers in bed

"General Tso and his chicken"

Knead Dough? Apply Here!

'You remembered to bake it BEFORE the stripper got in, right?'

'Must you eat without your shirt on? The crumbs falling into your navel are beginning to compost.'

'I worry that Henderson's becoming too well entrenched.'

'I was aiming at mama but she ducked faster than you.'

'Susan, hold all calls. I'll be in the office all day.'

"I get more respect wearing a uniform."

Helicopter Mom

"You've got composter syndrome."

"Actually, you're in excellent health. The only thing I recommend is that you cut back on carbs...and that means cutting back on your favorite dishes."

"Lemme guess. Kibble."

"The presentation is dreadful."

"I've told you, the bottom of the toaster is always full of bread crumbs..."

"Ernie! Watch the speed bu..."

"The oatmeal isn't steel cut."

We're being innundated with the garbage phobia: 'Now that they're starting to recycle this stuff aren't you glad I didn't throw it out?'

"So where have you been?"