Key-losing Connoisseur Gifts

"I don't need to know the future. I need to know where I put my car keys."

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

Graph Your Relatives!

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Toast: the high energy food

Imagine

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

''Willie the Wizard' gets out next week -- get ready to change all the locks.'

Laundromat: Bulletin Board - Have you seen this sock?

"I'm working on a watercolor."

Blue wine

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

Sock Without Partners Sock Hop

"We have a Sauvignon Blanc to refresh your palate or a lick of this toad to obliterate your sense of self."

The Sphinx Speaks

'I'm only here to pep up my autobiography.'

Park cleaner sweeping dirt under a statue.

Stand Up Vacuums

"Can you play something the neighbor's dog doesn't know?"

'Honk if you know the meaning of life'

"I think this one will suit you, 'A dizzy little number, with a hint of musty socks'."

Every day Fred had to make sure he was properly prepared for his job as a social media moderator.

Ambushing A Castle With A Giant Key.

"I miss you too, now stop licking the screen."

"That's fine. I've learned to enjoy TV with no sound when we're at odds."

'She went down 80 years ago, and there's still a line to get to the wine bar.'

"Ray says he serves his homemade wine this way for the presentation, but believe me, it's because it improves the taste."

Relaxation with Dick Wolf

"It's lactose-free! It's chemistry-free! It's free from animal by-products! It's the milk without milk!!!"