Keeping Healthy Gifts

I like having an older doctor. He understands my ailments and has most of em!

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

2021

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Self help acupuncture

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

What the Doctor Ordered

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"States of tofu"

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'Well, well, well...'

Lactose Intolerant

"Where do we put Desserts?"

But is it organic?

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

On the back of the t-shirt...