Keeping Fit Gifts

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

"I can feel the effects of these workouts already - my wallet's gotten a lot lighter."

"This place is so expensive you have to be fiscally fit to get physically fit."

'I think you're overdoing the yoga classes.'

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

"It seemed like miles to me!"

'I'm working on my abs.'

Getting older.

'Take exercise..it's good for you!'

Please don't hurt the machines.

John liked to involve his pet snake in his keep-fit programme.

AEROBICS CLASS, 'What is your body telling you now?', 'To be honest, I'm getting mixed signals.'

'They want me to exercise- so get me a squirrel to chase.'

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

The company gym's down the hall, but your resolve will be tested by running the gauntlet of snack machines.

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'My feet are killing me.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

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