K-9 Officer T-Shirts

"There you go with that typical police mentality."

"No no, I said sit!!"

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

'At ease, soldier.'

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Family Salutes as Father Comes Home.

The General's Cat: 'Always vigilant!'

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'Mobile homes aren't allowed here.'

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'You know the rules, private - no pets!'

'Does my bum look big in this?'

A Rifle Competition in the North

"Did you call for a Medic?"

'Walter isn't truly happy unless he's bombing some country.'

Verbal Orders

'Accept it, boss. He makes all the dog-catchers drive him home.'

Trilby - 'Dodor in his glory'.

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making you Torque.'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"