K9 Handler T-Shirts

"He's been in there 'searching for the bad guy' for over three hours now."

K-9 bathroom.

'He likes to point out the obvious.'

'He was bred for sniffing out drugs.'

"How about you go in after him. You're the one with the gun."

'Agreed, she is a dangerous criminal and we had to track her down, but boy does she small nice!'

"My dad is so lucky, he works for the Police K9 Drug Squad: He goes to a lot of Rock concerts..."

"Well, the date was going well until she asked me what my job is in the Police Force. "Cadaver Dog" does not seem to be the answer she was after..."

"It's a disaster Sir: most new recruits suffer from some kind of ADHD or phone addiction and can't follow a trail for more than 30 seconds..."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

Pushy Dog

'The word bath is mentioned.'

Thank you to those who never came home and to those who never left their side.

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

'Rex! Have you been counting the sheep again?'

A child and his dog

"He did it!"

"There you go with that typical police mentality."

"Someday, my son, that will mean you."

"I'll walk, you shovel."

A man with a bird perched on his finger.

Lenny the Cadaver dog had one heck of a story to tell the boys at the k-9 training...

"3:14 p.m. Suspect drives to lakeside resort. Rents rowboat under false name. Tosses evidence into... wait, how do I tell anyone?" Topper: Undercover police dog

I think you started off sending him the wrong message when you named him Alpha.

'I wish I could do Search and Rescue too: When you're a Police Dog, the people you find don't actually want to be found...'

A recurring crisis at the Farkinski farm

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

"I lost my way and wandered through this white hell for five days before your brave rescue dog found me and saved me from starving to death!"

"Listen, buddy, a lot of dogs accidentally wee-wee at Westminster."