Justice Of The Peace Gifts

'Mr. Justice, must you keep repeating 'nobody can fire me, nobody can dire me, nobody can dire me'?'

"You may now let me go try to get the sand out of my shoes and suit just in time for my next beach wedding."

"I now pronounce you guilty."

Trial by Media

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

The real murderer of Boris Nemtsov?

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

Florida Governor, Rick Scott, cuts funding for rape victims.

"Now that's a win."

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

Mighty Man Of Justice Is Born

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

The Jose Padilla Experience

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"