Justice Gifts

"Ignorance of the law is no excuse." "I didn't know that, either..."

"You have a pretty good case, Mr. Pitkin. How much justice can you afford?"

"What are you - some kind of justice freak?"

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"My client got twenty years, yet he paid me in full. It just shows the system works."

"Are you telling me that just because something is against the law, that makes it illegal?"

"If you want justice, it's two hundred dollars an hour. Obstruction of justice runs a bit more."

'I regret now cutting ethics class.'

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"In the interest of streamlining the judicial process, we'll skip the evidence and go directly to sentencing."

"At first I was the aggressor but as he got the upper hand it became clear I was the victim."

"Melanie, find me a little pro-bono case to cleanse my palate."

"I'm going to get you acquitted, but I want my fee to be a lesson to you."

'Perhaps you would like to rephrase your last answer.'

“This daily metamorphosis never fails to amaze me. Around the house, I’m a perfect idiot. I come to court, futon a black robe, and, by God, I’m it!”

"You've been charged with driving under the influence of testosterone."

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'Your hindsight on this case, was far more accurate than his forsight.'

'Something about this court makes me uneasy.'

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

'How could you swindle those good people who trusted you?'

See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Whisleblower

Prosecutor trying to link parking tickets and library fines with gangland killings.

'If you'd broken a law, I could get you off ? but you violated a Federal guideline!'

'Oh that's real nice! - And what about die process?'

Civil and In-Civil Court

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

''How do you plead' is just a legal term.'

Youth Court

"Tails it is. We find the defendant guilty."

"For the benefit of the tape, the suspect grunted and shook his head."

'The demeanor of this judicial panel doesn't bode well for your appeal.'

'The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? That doesn't allow for much flexibility.'

"Your Honor, wrong robe."

"Why don't we take a break? Your testimony is beginning to sound rehearsed."