Jury Duty Dodger Gifts

'We have special circumstances here Your Honor...Mr. Juttle committed the crime so he could get out of jury duty.'

Michael Cohen Attorney at Law

Sure, due process sounds good --- But do you really want to get stuck with jury duty?

'So why are so worried? I'm leaving my fate in the hands of 12 people not smart enough to get out of jury duty.'

'You'll be bound over for trial by a jury of whomever we can get for $5 a day.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"#notguilty."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

You've been found guilty by a jury of your peers -- You're toast fella!

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

'We find the defendant guilty. I mean, why else would he go out and hire the best lawyer in town?'

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

"We find the defendant 'guilty', …. not that there's anything wrong with that."

'We find the defendant to be dead meat.'

"Your honor, we were having so much fun being sequestered, we forgot what the defendant is charged with."

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

Dog defendant and cat jury - The Rigged Jury

'Slow down. . . okay. . . 'Do you solemnly swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god?''

Boy in court swearing oath on comic book

'The jury have instructed me to say that they expected a rather more spicy case.'

This is my story and I'm stickin with it!

"take your best shot, counselor."