Junior Burglars Pillows

"Phew! I'm bushed! I've been up all night helping the removal men clear the front room."

A boy acting suspiciously

"I'm not old enough to drive yet, but mom says this is good practice."

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"The treasury has hacked into his computer and asked for ideas to solve the deficit"

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

"I know it's the right thing to do, but if we call the cops this sandbox will be tied up for weeks."

'It says 'turn screw clockwise to tighten.' Which way is clockwise in digital?'

"Little Timmy is big enough to use you burglary tools."

'If that's the Police Station - we're not here!'

Kid to mom: 'How come I ask so many questions?'

Crime

Early Ram Raids

The few moments delay was the downfall of 'The Cat'.

'Please be quiet while the attempts to locate your head.'

"I've found Waldo. Now what?"

Parole officer: Hanging in and hanging out.

'Next time I cut the red wire...'

rebooting computer

"I think this is the last year he'll believe in Father Christmas, he's asking a lot of questions"

'Have you started you Christmas Swiping yet?'

Waste Thinner

"That new kid is taking hide-and-seek seriously...he's brought in bloodhounds!"

Mary felt safer going to her car late at night now that she carried a spray can of lace.

Department of Criminology

Officialdom-phobia.

"No sooner had I injected the truth serum than he told me I was morbidly obese."

TV and boy

"Kids Menu Square"

'It's just homework...there's no conspiracy.'

"I mean, why even live in the city if you're not going to do New York City things?"

'It's a matter of opinion, to me it's a smash 'n' grab, to you it's a window of opportunity...'

'Dogs are from Mars, cats are from Venus.'