Jumbotron Watcher Pillows

'Run for it, Vince! They've got us on the jumbotron!!'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

'Einsteiners.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Tree house.

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

'Och lye the news'

Republicans and Democrats debate while the US economy drowns.

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

'We're there already? I'm still watching my video!'

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

'Come on, come on! Bite! Oh, man... He's looking right at it!!'

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

Horse five to win, unless they change the jockey.

"Then we agree. 10 minutes of your news, then 10 minutes of mine."

It's a Dog's life

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

South Pork

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

Vote Grinkley! Now you see him, now you don't.

"So much for finding intelligent life on this planet."

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

'I got my degree by watching JEOPARDY.'

"No, I'm not doing my homework, but I am watching a YouTube video of someone doing theirs."

A Youtube video explained what I've been sensing for years: The auto industry is about to implode. It's going so well. But the average incentive per car is soaring. That means they're trying harder and harder to maintain sales. I saw another video that explains why: More and more people are leasing cars, because the lizard people have put fluoride in the water. Just 'cause one Youtube channel's legit, doesn't mean they all are. NASA's in on it too.

"Dad, I was thinking...can I get a tattoo...right here!"