July Aficionado Gifts

The Month of July

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Driverless cars rage.

Beer Stall

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

"What did you download at school today?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

Bot Art: After da Vinci

Happy thoughts

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."