Juggling Personal And Work Life T-Shirts

'Your wife called while you were out, sir -- she loves you and wants to know where the hell you put the car keys.'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Working hours.

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

Your Work/Life Balance Is Off. Shall I Auto-Correct?

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

Laptop Dancing.

The Great Pyramid of Paperwork

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

The Buck Never Stops.

"Ok weekend! I hope you can make up for that awful week!"

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

'Hold on, Baby, Hold on!'

'I solve so many work problems at home.'

"Oh yes sir, I'm finding I can get so much more work done, working from home."

'I'll be late for dinner Dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Don't tell me you're not hungover, it's nine a.m. and you just clocked out."

Call Your Office

"People just don't realise how stressful this job is. . . I used to have hair!"

"No, our company doesn't provide day care or maternity leave."

Email Notifications

"We've doubled our staff in the last six months." (Smith and Smith - baby in playpen behind desk).

"Excuse me, dear...the rickshaw phone...."

They're behind me aren't they?

'I'm sick of answering the phone - half the time, it's about business!'

'The 'Business Man's Lunch?' The chicken salad comes served in a laptop.'

"Well, we can tackle this now when we're exhausted from the week or wait until Monday when we're exhausted from the weekend."

Break Glass in Case of Stress

"Did I miss a lot of work while I was out with the flu? No, I didn't miss it at all!"

"What's this about having time off to spawn?"

"Not now. I'm working on my children's book."

'You can earn more money, but you'll need to take a second job.'

In Case of Emergency: Dark Chocolate