Juggling Personal And Work Life T-Shirts

'Your wife called while you were out, sir -- she loves you and wants to know where the hell you put the car keys.'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Working hours.

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

Your Work/Life Balance Is Off. Shall I Auto-Correct?

Laptop Dancing.

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

The Great Pyramid of Paperwork

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

The Buck Never Stops.

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

"Ok weekend! I hope you can make up for that awful week!"

'Nigel, what have I told you about bringing your work home with you?'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"Oh yes sir, I'm finding I can get so much more work done, working from home."

'Hold on, Baby, Hold on!'

'I solve so many work problems at home.'

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

'I'll be late for dinner Dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Call Your Office

Email Notifications

"Don't tell me you're not hungover, it's nine a.m. and you just clocked out."

"No, our company doesn't provide day care or maternity leave."

"People just don't realise how stressful this job is. . . I used to have hair!"

"We've doubled our staff in the last six months." (Smith and Smith - baby in playpen behind desk).

"Excuse me, dear...the rickshaw phone...."

'The 'Business Man's Lunch?' The chicken salad comes served in a laptop.'

They're behind me aren't they?

'I'm sick of answering the phone - half the time, it's about business!'

"What's this about having time off to spawn?"

"Not now. I'm working on my children's book."

Break Glass in Case of Stress

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

'You can earn more money, but you'll need to take a second job.'

In Case of Emergency: Dark Chocolate