Judicial Decorum Pillows

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."

"Gift"

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

Antonin Scalia

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

Judge

"O.K., O.K., house arrest."

"We all make mistakes, as Your Honor knows, having been twice reprimanded by the New York State Commission on Juridical Conduct."

"Why can't you ever be serious?"

'We find the defendant guilty, the defense a showboater and the DA a legal mal-practitioner.'

'The defendant and the witnesses were bad enough, but then the JURY got hostile.'

"They're slowly adapting to the open-office concept."

'You Honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'pretty please with sugar on it.''

'I'm sure the Senate will affirm my action.'

'I'm sentencing you to 100 hours of community service. Be at Twin Lakes Country Club at 8am sharp. I need a caddy.'

Feng Shui

Er! Exactly when was this 'dress for success' book you've been readng written?

'Oh, boy!'

A Good, But Not A Supreme Court

Top Tips For Video Interviews

'...Plus thirty days for not turning off your damn cell phone!'

"Miss Holder, in the future, please refrain from using hearts in the place of dots."

The US Supreme Court displays its rulings out front.

"And remember, the phone goes to the left of the entree fork."

'Good gracious Henry, it's not necessary to that every time he whistles the national anthem!'

''Guilty or not guilty'? - I didn't come here to be INSULTED!'

'I'm going to lay a guilt trip on you, man.'

"As a judge, I have always treated colleagues and litigants with the utmost respect! I have been known for my courtesy on and off the bench!"

"I've never seen anybody literally sue everybody in sight before."

'You claim deprivation led to this crime?!' 'I was deprived of a dvd player.'

'We, the jury, find the defendant to be a brutal, morally bereft, unscrupulous scum-bag AND guilty as charged.'