Jpeg Jester T-Shirts

"Are bringing your new girlfriend to the office party?"

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Hardware and software

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

A baby in court

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

Crow and fox

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

Ski kicker.

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

"...And now show us what you said."

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

"Frankly, I don't really want him to improve: he scares the predators away..."

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

Disorder in the Court!