Jpeg Jester T-Shirts

"Are bringing your new girlfriend to the office party?"

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Hardware and software

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

A baby in court

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

Crow and fox

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

Ski kicker.

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

'The mysteries of hyena laughter deciphered.'

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

"I don't plead."

Disorder in the Court!

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

"Your honor, we were having so much fun being sequestered, we forgot what the defendant is charged with."