Joyful Jackpot Lovers T-Shirts

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

"It's lotto fever."

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

'This should be good. He just won the lottery!'

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

"The good news is, my son is a potential winner, bad news, I'm still buying his lottery tickets."

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

'Let's play some cards, boys. Oh, and by the way, the wife said if we figure out how to light these cigars we can smoke in the bowl.'

"Would you please come with us, Sir?!"

'We're reconciled-thanks to the Lottery rollover!'

I'm going to say my prayers. Should I play the same lotto numbers?

'Isn't that your fund manager?'

'Careful. The house always wins.'

Don't jump! You haven't paid your five bucks for the office lottery pool yet!

'There is no million dollar inheritance, just a lottery ticket for each of you.'

Cat wins lottery and vows to carry on working.

"Why is it that every time we get invited to a pot luck, they expect us to bring deviled eggs?"

"It doesn't matter how valuable the manuscript is to you, Charles."

'I'm in equities and mutual funds. You?'

Most liberal slots on The Strip

"Unbelievable! Me owning my own golf course! Mind you. . ."

Financial advice books for boomers.

How to win the Lottery. - Scratch 'n' read edition.

When government depends on state lottery: Playing the lottery is lots of fun and a great investment plan!

'Portnoy, in lieu of a raise or bonus, I'm giving you these 'instant winner' lottery scratch-off cards.'

'The league got tired of the fights, so they now make them battle it out over a poker game. The games are now 16 hours long.'

Lottery winner - 'Can I have it in pound coins, please? I need change for the bus!'