Jackpot Hunter T-Shirts

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

'I highly recommend this painting if you're interested in art as an investment.'

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

Robot Grabber Arcade Game Machine

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

Help wanted. Various positions available.

'We need a product line that will stimulate our profit line.'

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

"And here is where we started putting profits before people."

'The good news is that we're making huge profits - the bad news is that we won't be getting a bailout.'

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

'You don't want the job, do you?'

'Harrison, going against your better judgement has made us a lot of money...'

'Have you got a resume?'

'I know what we need to turn this around, a mindless product that will make money fly out of peoples pocketbooks!'

"C'mon! C'mon! Almost there..."

'Mr. Barnes was going to interview you for the job, until he realized you were actually expecting financial compensation, benefits and vacation time.'

'Profit in the garbage.'

"Is it too late for me to stop poo pooing his expansion plan?"

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate ... I'm flexible on location -- I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume --- I don't think you understand what that means. The octopus got the job because he was a great multitasker!

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

'We care because we haven't made enough money not to.'

"I enjoyed your resume, young man - especially the hand-written addendum from your mom."

Are you able to concentrate on your work? My mind wanders a lot but fortunately it's too weak to go very far.

Business of Finger-pointing

Your resume is only 8 words long! You're hired!

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.