Jovial Joe T-Shirts

'Can Tom come out and play?'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Growth Charts

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"The trees are laughing at us."

"These meetings bring out my creative side. How's this for the boss?"

'If someone farts in the forest and there's no one around to smell it, does it make a stink?'

Clown Wedding with Rake

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

Complaints Desk

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

'Rex here, is just like one of the family.'

Family doing circus trick heading to the circus.

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

Pie chart of pub conversations

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

You know what I like about our meetings? There's always more finger pulling than pointing.

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

"Growing old is not the problem... it's not being rich that's the problem."

Hot Cross Bun

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

'Wow...you must have had a really bad day, eh, mate?'

"I'm doing better. The voices in my head can now access my email."

"And now for the 'piece de resistance!'"

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'