Journal Enthusiast Gifts

"Man, you can really learn a lot about somebody by reading her diary."

"Then write it up for The Journal of Surprising Discoveries."

"I'd never have known the joys of a journal if my attorney hadn't insisted I keep one."

"Although your discovery is very important, the consensus is that your article about it lacked suspense, and was completely devoid of humor."

"Expedition log #57: Like the rest of the week, I expect today will be another uneventful day."

April 20: The weather continues sunny and warm.

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

"Go do something, honey. Then you can write in your journal."

Day 16: Still have not sold any hot dogs

Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. Is it manly to keep a diary? I've thought of journaling, to help me process all the unbearable horrors and losses I experience. Like when they discontinued the Sega Genesis. I bet journaling would've helped me through that difficult time of my life. "Difficult time of your life"? Instead, I sank deep into depression, refused to speak, and painted my Apple Newton black.

Dear Diary, I'm moments away from shoveing a pen into my little brother's eye...

"Yes, my memory is bad too: That's why I keep a journal..."

"I've decided to keep a diary of my retirement, and already I'm five weeks ahead."

One line a day... Diary 2020

"F**k off I'm filling out my 'happiness journal.'"

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

UK border controls relaxed.

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Meet the Enemy

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

Trump Destroying U.S. the Postal Service

Idlib, Syria - The final stage

"This is a hell of a way to start a magazine."

Reporter #6: television.