Jolly Gift-giver Admirer T-Shirts

A gift for me? It's a cape because I think you're a superhero!

Lactose Intolerant

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

'Believe me, I understand.'

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

Christmas Dwarves

He'll never melt. I made him from fast food milkshakes.

'First, let me apologize for suggesting you throw horseshoes as therapy.'

Welcome centre

The gift of a family Christmas

'Just what I wanted. Not!'

Acme Coffee Co.

Chilli Quartet

"C'mon, get up...it's Christmas! Let's go! There's presents to open!"

Santa saying to shrink - "I don't believe in myself."

Old lady posts adverts for fur gloves over poster of a lost cat,

'Free gifts to every kid in the whole world? -- Are you a Keynesian or something?'

"You paid to have a grain of sand named after me? You're such an idiot."

'I know we asked for a room with running water,but...'

Roo felt a little cheated with his new Christmas present.

'Money's no object, lad! Whatever you want, you can have, and everything's available in our fully stocked toy department on the third floor...'

"It's a gift for the tooth fairy so I used dental floss instead of ribbon."

Mr James

"I don't think the new guy is working out."

"Santa gets away with it because it shakes like a bowl full of jelly, not beer."

"Sorry Rudolph, this year I'm going with Steve and his sweet disco ball nose."

'Next Father's day I'll buy you a tie instead of stealing a Ferrari.'

optician

"Happy birthday!"

Singing Father Christmases.

It's the thought that counts: Totally useless gifts.

'You didn't chew, did you ?!'