Joking Historian T-Shirts

"I don't know about you, but ever since we invented language, I've been getting a lot less sex."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"You're on a what?!"

Archimedes statue with a lever

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

It isn't widely known that Michelangelo was the first in a long line of cartoonists to buck the family tradition.

What's an Imax cave?

The discovery of asparagus.

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

"Right here's fine."

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

This side is the gag reel.

Ruddy bloggers!

The Fall of Gnome

"When I said make it RIGHT, I meant correctly."

'We need to have a shake-up!'

Short-lived Neanderthal Games: Slap The Sleeping Dinosaur

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'Finish your homework first, Og... then you can watch the wall.'

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

Under New Management. Actually, Betsy, we were hoping for a flag with a little more style.

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

Bible Bloopers

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

Mortally Wounded at the Battle of Quebec, General James Wolfe Forgets His Last Words

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

The Drone