Jokers Of The Sea Gifts

"Kayakers Fred! Let's surface next to them and check the look on their faces!"

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

Sharks hate practical jokes.

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"Don't bother going that way: They've installed shark nets..."

'Whadoya mean, WHOOPS?! That stuff doesn't grow on trees you know!'

"That one's for higher-skilled plank walkers."

"A catfish ate my homework."

"I told you not to hand in that evaluation form until after we'd docked!"

'Wow Fred! The scientists that caught you called you 'Carcharodon Carcharias'... Wait till I tell the others...'

Exempli Gratia.

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - 'Captain Loofah Sponge'.

'That's no oil slick Johnson.' - During whale flu season.

'I think they're getting ready for a feeding frenzy.'

"Are you any good at closing a sail."

'Hey Trev, we're not that far from home after all!'

'How about letting me off the hook.'

'No, I'm not strictly catch-and-release.'

"Okay, on the count of three...you go that way, I'll go this way."

Acme Discount Life Vests

'He's going to walk the plank. The least we can do is let him stretch his quads first.'

"Hold on - what happened to Unsinkable I?"

'What's all the fuss about? We've been social networking for years.'

'Don't kid yourself. If you're too ugly to be cooked, they'll grind you up into one of those fish protein concentrates.'

Sharks Eating Humans at Seaside Restaurants

Shark Attacks

"Somehow I feel very secure in this blanket of plankton!"

Don't worry, I'll use my standard excuse: "Sorry I'm late Darling, but I was beached for two hours"...

'The fishermen are taking a photo of him: Typical Bill, he's making a face...'

Guide to Edged Blade Fish

"So kind of him to let us have the guest ark all to ourselves."