Joke Sharers Pillows

'The place you're all looking for is just a hop, skip and a jump from here.'

Dogs must be on leash.

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Shampoo.

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

How about going easy on the carbs

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

"Eat me"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

"Amateurs."

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

Higher wisdom...

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

'Since laughter is the best medicine, I have a joke, Hee, Hee, Haw,Ha!...that could simply wipe out your Infectious Mononucleosis!'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

'And the best thing about this electric thermal underwear is, no batteries, it's solar!'

'But this is fantastic, professor! It's like no language I've ever seen before!'